If you knew your relationship was heading for disaster, what would you do to save it? What if it was already in shambles, hanging on by a thread? Should you even try to save it? When you’re at that turning point in your relationships where you can either fight or go your separate ways, those are crucial questions.
I’ve been there more than once. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before: I’ve been married twice. Once when I was very young. That lasted about a year. Then again to my son’s father. We were together nine years before we split up. Both relationships needed to end for their own reasons. Now I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years. We’ve had ups and downs, but it’s definitely a different type of relationship. I would go further to save it.
But just how far? Let’s take a look at a few options for saving a dying relationship! I’m not at this point with Sal, but I like to know my options just in case.
How can you save your relationship?
The DIY Method
You can try to do it yourself by working together to come up with ideas. Start with very open and honest discussions about your feelings. Why do you feel the relationship is failing? What are his thoughts. LISTEN to each other. Get a few books on couples counseling, read them together. Incorporate the parts of the books that make sense to YOUR unique relationship.
The Couples Counseling Method
If you can’t come up with a plan of action on your own, a professional counselor may help. Couples counselors are completely unbiased and uniquely trained to help you learn to better communicate. You both have to be open to this idea, though. It can’t be just one person’s idea, otherwise it won’t work.
The Post-Intimacy Conversation Method
Did you know that during the first 15 minutes after you have sex, your whole body if flooded with oxytocin and endorphins? These are our body’s “feel good chemicals.” They also tend to make us more open and willing to talk about our problems. That’s the concept behind Sex Box.
When I heard about the show Sex Box on WE tv, I thought “WHAT?” But the methodology behind the show is actually really solid. Yes, couples have sex…in a box…on live television. Actually, it’s a state-of-the-art soundproof chamber, so really, it’s kind of like a miniature hotel room on a stage, right? Probably more private than my actual bedroom, since my mom lives with me! I digress. So, yes, the premise kind of shocked me at first, but the psychology behind it is really interesting.
Couples go into the chamber to get those chemicals flowing. When they come out, they discuss their feelings with a panel of relationship experts, ranging from sex therapists to couples counselors.
Watching Sex Box as a couple can help you in two ways: you can get tips from the panel and inspiration to try out the concept behind it. Go into your own “private chamber” at home, then use those 15 minutes after to really open up about your feelings. It could just be the key to saving your relationship.
Sex Box airs on WE tv every Friday at 10/9c.