Although marriage can be beautiful, sadly, divorce is extremely common across the United States. In fact, in America, the divorce rate for a first marriage is around 41%.
Some people simply just aren’t right for each other longterm. Some people marry too young. And some people are downright unlucky. It’s important to realize that though divorce feels like the worst thing in the world, it happens — quite often — and you can and will get through it!
It’s important to take a look at some of the most common reasons for marriages to fall apart. Here are some of the main reasons for divorce:
Every three months, 250,000 new families enter into foreclosure. This kind of stress can wreak havoc on an otherwise successful marriage.
Money can be a problem at any moment, not just when you’re in jeopardy of losing the house. One spouse might want to live in the moment while the other wants to put every dollar toward retirement; one spouse might want a new vehicle every other year while the other is more than happy to drive a paid-off car for 10 or more years. And one spouse might be reckless with credit cards and the other could be more fiscally responsible.
Money problems can impact any relationship — which is why it’s crucial to develop a budget and make a concerted effort to communicate with your spouse regarding finances, especially during the most challenging times!
No intimacy or love
According to a study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 2,371 recently divorced people were asked to select more than one reason for their marriages ending. The top response, answered by 47% of survey participants, was a lack of love or intimacy, either because one or both partners fell out of love.
This problem isn’t an easy one to overcome. In reality, it might even be impossible to overcome if the love just isn’t there anymore. However, if you and your spouse want to fight for your marriage and do everything necessary to keep it alive, it can be done.
To prevent these issues from happening, “Spend at least 10 minutes a day connecting,” said Rachel Needle, PsyD, co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes in Florida. “This doesn’t mean talking about work or the children, but instead it’s about continuing to get to know each other, sharing feelings or experiences, or just being present.”
Issues with appearance
Growing apart in your relationship because of physical changes to your spouse might sound superficial, but it’s a legitimate reason why marriages fall apart.
Similarly, problems with your own appearance can lead to confidence issues and spiral into all kinds of marital problems. According to the American Association of Orthodontists, one-third of people in the country are unhappy with their teeth.
As long as you and your spouse are staying active and healthy, however, you should both be able to overcome these challenges. But be aware they are very real!
Though there are certainly couples out there who have gone through extramarital affairs and worked things out, that is not always the case.
Infidelity changes a marriage forever. Whatever the reason, it’s never worth it. If you and your spouse can address your marital issues early on and work on things before someone starts being unfaithful, great. If not, it might be best to have a discussion about what happened (when things aren’t as tense), and then move on and find someone who will treat you right.
Marriage is never easy. No one ever said it was. It takes a lot of hard work, self-reflection, and open communication — but it can be worth it to fight for it. On the flip side, if you gave it your all and it just isn’t working, don’t fret. If divorce is your only option, you will be okay. Good luck!